“If one can chase a thousand, surely two will put 10,000 to flight.”
This is one of my favorite quotes from Deuteronomy and it explains the powerful concept of unity and in my family it’s all about
𝗦𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗗.
I try my best to teach my girls to not only love one another but to stand with, defend, open space for and truly be there for each other.
Even when they are fighting and disagree I drive this point home because one day they will be all grown up and have to be a good sister to each other.
They are tiny but fierce and I tell them that. 🤩
What about us as women?
In particular, 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠 women?
See, I have a lot of non-black sister friends (including my Insta-frans) who I know for sure love and care for me but they may not understand the layers that come with being me.
I mean, How would they?
"𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝘀 NOW 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆."
I’ve come to realize is that it may challenging to understand what it’s like to be me let alone become and ally with me. Alas, here are 7 of my favorite ways to do this:
1. Show up for black women, physically and emotionally.
Whether it’s sending your girls a daily text to check in, being a shoulder to cry on, supporting black female-founded companies, or smiling at a black woman on the street (which used to be illegal), we need you to... from the heart..to be an advocate in any and every way.
2. Create environments for women to take up space.
In my experience of hosting panels, events, talks, interviews, or a girls’ night, there’s nothing more gratifying than watching women thrive in an environment where they feel able to be themselves and use their voice.
3. Be transparent with black women.
Be open about jobs, salaries, relationships, hardships, successes, Botox, everything.
Secrecy breeds jealousy because the unknown makes us insecure.
By having these conversations with each other, we empower our experiences, good or bad, and create a foundation of shared experiences that make us feel supported rather than alienated.
4. Collaborate, don’t compete.
Competition thrives on insecurities.
Identify those black women that you’re sitting across the table from and sit next to them.
Find a common ground.
Start a conversation. Listen. Speak. Learn.
"Sincerely wanting black women to succeed without jealousy is a model of unselfish grace."
5. Never miss an opportunity to facilitate moments of learning between non-black and black women.
It’s so easy to fall victim to normalizing racist abuse by saying “oh, they are just being a jerk” or “people will be people” when helping black women cope with racist issues.
Doesn't matter whether it’s in the workplace, the boardroom, or beyond.
Yes, black women can be strong but over time, it wears us down and breaks our hearts. Having a sister stand with us and smack down abuse (In whatever form) is transformative.
"Be an active ally for black women by advocating for accountability and a level playing field."
6. Hire black women, train black women and mentor black women.
Be the vehicle that turns a young woman with big dreams into the courageous woman she is destined to be.
7. YOU Step up and into the spotlight.
Not just as an example for others but for yourself.
Take every opportunity, challenge, and risk that comes your way without questioning your worth, ability or place as a woman.
And once you find your light, don’t let anyone condemn you for using your power to stand up.
Don't be afraid to go against the grain.
Our future and yours depends on it.
Love you!
We're in this together,
Mel